Thailand Wishes Movies Filmed There Could Be About Thailand For Once

"We'll definitely take more Mortal Kombat movies. We love those."

BANGKOK, THAILAND – The nation of Thailand expressed its frustration yesterday when the country told reporters it was tired of serving as a filming location for films about Vietnam, Cambodia, and Myanmar and other southeast Asian locales. “For once,” Thailand remarked, “why can’t Hollywood make a movie about us, Thailand?”

“Frankly, we are getting very tired of representing Vietnam,” the country formerly known as Siam said. “Actually, we’re just getting tired of Vietnam war movies in general.”

For decades filmmakers have come to this vibrant and dynamic country to make countless movies, most of them about the American conflict in Vietnam. Films such as Apocalypse Now,Casualties of WarOperation Dumbo DropRambo: First Blood Part II, and Rescue Dawn were shot on location in Thailand.

“Our lush jungles and cheap labor are perfect reasons for Hollywood to come here and shoot movies,” Thailand said. “And, you know, we have a rich cultural and political history of our own. Someone could make a movie about us.”

“But please, not another King and I remake,” the country added.

While films shot in Thailand like The Killing Fields, about the Cambodian genocide, and the 2007 Rambo sequel Rambo, about missionaries in Myanmar, are a step in the right direction, the burgeoning third-world country would prefer that directors respect Thailand’s identity.

“We appreciate movie makers going for authenticity. And we get that it’s very easy to get Asian extras and elephants here. So if you’re looking to tell a story set in Southeast Asia, why not just go with it and set it in Thailand. You’re here anyway,” Thailand said.

Thailand has it’s own vibrant film industry, with the recent action franchise Ong Bak becoming very popular with American audiences. Last year a Thai film, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, won the Palm d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. Hollywood has also taken notice, remaking the Thai film Bangkok Dangerous with Nicholas Cage.

“Please don’t talk to us about that movie,” Thailand said. “We pretend that doesn’t exist.”

Thailand has hope for its film future, however. The Hangover: Part II, the sequel to the 2009 comedy hit, is set in Bangkok and partly filmed on location.

“Finally, we will be able to show a wide American audience what they have been missing. The true Thailand,” the nation said. “Towns overrun by monkeys, Tuk-Tuk crashes, and the prostitutes. So many prostitutes.”


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