ARLINGTON, VA – History nerds across the nation exploded in fireballs of pure delight and excitement upon hearing the news of an upcoming documentary series about Abraham Lincoln many are saying is sure to be “the greatest historical documentary of all time.”The twelve-episode series is being directed by renowned documentarian Ken Burns, who helmed award-winning projects such as Baseball, Jazz, and most recently The National Parks. The series will focus on America’s sixteenth president, Abraham Lincoln, and the events surrounding the Civil War, a topic Burns also explored in his series The Civil War.
However, this new program is based on an upcoming book by noted historian David McCullough. McCullough has won the Pulitzer Prize, National Book Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. He has also authored such books asTruman, 1776, and John Adams. The upcoming book will look give an in-depth history of Lincoln and his cabinet, and the decisions that helped shape the country during a time of crisis.
“This is epic. So epic,” one history nerd commented on the PBS website after reading the announcement.
“Oh my goodness. I can’t take it! I think I have a nosebleed!” another commenter wrote.
The furor reached fever pitch when it was announced that actor Morgan Freeman would be providing the narration and John Williams, the composer of the Star Wars and Saving Private Ryan scores, would do the music.
After reading the press release, nerds had seizures and began foaming at the mouth. Other spontaneously combusted in puffs of nerd-smoke.
“After this they should really stop making documentaries, or anything, really,” President Obama said. “I might just shut down PBS.”
PBS is expecting terrible numbers for the program, now that everyone who would have seen it exploded or died from extreme awesomeness.