British Couple’s Plans To Be Professional Wavers Made Official

BUCKINGHAM PALACE, ENGLAND – News of the engagement between Prince William and Kate Middleton solidified the couples’ plans to be professional wavers for the rest of their lives.After many years of waiting and speculation, the couple announced their engagement earlier this morning. William, Prince of Wales and heir to the throne of the British Empire, had been dating Kate Middleton for ten years before today’s historic event.

“It is every girl’s dream to one day become someone who waves at crowds for a living,” Kate said in a statement. “Today, that dream of presiding over countless ceremonies is one step closer to reality.”

“I am very happy Kate has agreed to my proposal,” Prince William said in a separate statement. “We look forward to waving at you for the next sixty-odd years.”

Britons around the world were thrilled by the news. ”This is a great day for England. The two have great chemistry and wonderful forearm strength,” Russell Kensington, the editor of The Guardian said.

“I’m so excited they finally announced it! I can’t wait to see Kate’s gloved hand briefly pop out from a carriage window and wave to me,” David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said.

The couple plans to wed sometime next year, but it will be a long time before they will officially be King and Queen. As mere figureheads representing a mostly-obsolete ruling class, William and Kate’s tasks as rulers will be attending public appearances and keeping track of how much money the monarchy loses each year.

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