Ghost With Unfinished Business Just Needs Help Cleaning Out His Garage

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – The ghost of Hank Tillman has been haunting his house ever since he passed away last August, waiting for someone to help him clean out his garage so he can fully pass on to the afterlife.Tillman died after a large, old water heater fell on him while he was cleaning the garage, and some parapsychologists believe this is the reason why the specter still inhabits his former residence. “I’d been telling him to clean up the junk for years,” Tillman’s wife, Peggy, said. “It’s such a shame. It’s still such a mess.”

“I always told my wife her nagging would be the death of me,” Tillman’s ghost wailed. “I guess I proved her right,” the ghost added before disappearing through the garage door and leaving an ectoplasmic trail of residue behind.

Peggy told reporters that she often experiences paranormal activity. “Sometimes I’ll see a dustbin inch towards me, or the light in the garage will flicker on and off,” she said. “Most of the activity happens when friends or relatives are around. I think Hank wants people to help him clean. But if he think’s we’re going to clean up his mess then that lazy bum’s got another thing coming!”

“I mean, some of this stuff I can’t get rid of,” Tillman’s ghost said as he levitated old issues of National Geographic. “These are collector’s editions. Sometimes I think this is really Hell.”

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