WOODSBURY, TN – Local barber Angelo Salmano admitted yesterday that he only knew how to give one type of haircut, no matter which style customer’s asked for.Angelo, who has been a barber for nearly forty years, told reporters that his signature style was the simple right-to-left part, also known as the Business Man’s Cut. “It’s the only one I really know how to give,” Angelo said. “And frankly, it’s a damn fine style, so if it’s good enough for me it should be good enough for you.”
Customers who asked for such styles as the Caesar, Layered, Ivy League, or Pompadour cuts still received the Business Man. Should a customer ask for a High and Tight, Bowl, or other close cut, Angelo will simply shear all the hair off the head. Usually customers are too intimidated to speak up, due to Angelo’s surly demeanor and swift hands that never let go of the scissors. “If I notice someone’s unhappy or just looking in the mirror too long, I tell them ‘It’ll grow back,’” Angelo said. “That usually keeps them quiet.”
One customer, who wished to remain anonymous, spoke of his experience. “Every time I go I ask for a specific style, but I just get the usual. I don’t know why I even bother, but I just hold out hope,” the informer said. “Angelo is the cheapest guy around, so that’s why I keep coming back.”
“What’s really baffling is that he’s been giving the same haircut to everyone for years, and he still can’t get it right,” the anonymous source said.