Summer "Officially" Over, Technically Not Over

NANTUCKET, MA – With the Labor Day weekend behind us, the summer season has been declared over, despite the fact that it is still summer. “It’s officially over,” Taylor Samson, a lifeguard at a local beach, said. “Might as well bring out the sweaters and snow shovel now,” he added. While lifeguards reluctantly hang up their buoys, children across the country trudge back to school, and Americans look expectantly for the leaves to change color, summer will not technically end until September 23 at 3:09 PM, the time of the autumnal equinox.

Despite the fact that temperatures remain in the high eighties, local townsfolk have put their summer smiles away. “Yep, summertime is over,” Carl Hangus, manager of a local CVS, lamented. Carl was putting up a display of Halloween candy in anticipation of the late-October holiday. “I’ve already got my Thanksgiving and Christmas stands up in the back room, ready to go,” Carl said.

“Did you hear that Starbucks already has their Pumpkin Spiced Latte?” Katie Minniver said. “That definitely means summer’s over.” Katie, a data collection specialist who works in Boston, was packing up her summer house to return to the mainland, even though she could use the house for weekend getaways well into the coming months.

The Farmer’s Almanac predicts the month of September to be “unseasonably” warm. The book also expects October and early November to also be warmer and drier than usual, with temperatures lingering in the lower seventies and upper sixties. This elongated summer is typically called an “Indian Summer,” which was changed to “Native American Summer,” but is now officially “American Indian Summer”, which is apparently still politically incorrect. 

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