FAYETTEVILLE, AK – Nina Pellegrino should have been smiling when she blew out her candles, but a sense of malaise pervaded her twenty-fifth birthday festivities as Nina fretted over the fact she would no longer be in the eighteen-to-twenty-four-year-old age demographic marketers covet.
“I can’t believe it. Now how will I know what to buy?” Nina lamented. “I still have disposable income! I can still buy stuff!” she said.
Marketers around the country removed Nina’s name from their lists yesterday, acknowledging the young woman was no longer important to them. “It’s a sad day for all of us, but especially for Nina. Sure, we’ll still try and get her to buy some things, I guess. Does she want tight-fitting jeans that are pre-faded or ripped? Frankly, we don’t care anymore,” Doug Williamson of Bright Solutions, a polling and marketing company, admitted.
“I hate to see her like this,” Amy Hutchinson, who is twenty-four and one of Nina’s friends who was at the birthday party, said. “Yesterday she told me she was going to buy some CDs to show she was still a relevant consumer. It’s so sad.”