Sharks Tired Of Being Called "Jaws"

DEEP IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN – Sharks everywhere are expressing their dismay about humans calling them “Jaws,” the name of the popular film. “Whenever someone sees a fin pop out of the water it’s always, ‘Look out, it’s Jaws!’” said Mike the Mako shark. “‘Jaws’ isn’t a name. It’s not even the name of the shark in the movie. He was called Bruce!” Ever since the popular 1975 film debuted, beachgoers have been equally terrified and thrilled whenever they spot a shark, and their default reaction is to cite the Steven Spielberg masterpiece. “Ever since that movie I’ve been called ‘Jaws’ by practically every human I’ve come across. Don’t they know I’m not a Great White?” Despite the annoyances he faces, Mike, and other sharks, don’t hold a grudge against the film. “It’s a great movie,” Mike said. “No other shark movie compares. And I have no problem with people being scared of us. We’re scary animals.” In order to make humans aware of the sharks’ true names, a public relations campaign is being planned. “If you call us Jaws again we’re going to tear a limb off. I’m a Isurus oxyrinchus, and don’t you forget it.

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