Speech Therapist Beginning To Loathe Boston

BOSTON, MA – Area speech therapist Alex Wexler says he is beginning to feel dejected and overwhelmed by his time in Boston. “It’s constantly an uphill battle,” Wexler said. “Just when you think you’re about to make headway you realize it’s just a drop in the ocean.”

After graduating from Wesleyan University in Middletown, CT, the town where he lived all his life, Wexler moved to Boston to set up his practice. “I thought business would be booming,” he admitted. “Instead it’s like living in the Twilight Zone. Everyone thinks you’re the crazy one. It’s like these people don’t know the letter ‘r’ exists.”

Despite his best efforts, no patients seem to improve their enunciation and pronunciation. “Park the car in Harvard Yard!” Wexler crisply yelled to a patient after quickly losing his temper. The patient repeated the phrase in her heavy Southie accent, further infuriating Wexler. ”This city, man. This whole state,” Wexler later vented. “And don’t even get me started on bars closing at midnight.”

“I’ve got to get out of here. I think I’ll probably move soon,” he said. ”Maybe someplace warm, like the South, where I can hopefully get some results.”  

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